My Other Self
i haven’t seen you much but i have heard things came undone,
and i could see it on your eyes…
someone else has pulled the plug and you were left to analyze.
we made you feel lesser and whispered low,
when only your frailty had been exposed…
…i watched you piece together the dignity that had been crushed,
as you smiled and stood up again.
i sat in silence as you thanked God for brokenness,
and wondered what i would have done.
we questioned your thinking and marveled how
you had found strength in your weakest hour.
because we are all damaged goods,
fragile property….we break reluctantly,
we hurt when we fall… like damaged goods,
aching we find… there’s a need for the divine,
but that’s the good … in damaged goods,
oh that’s what’s good in damaged goods.
damaged goods, erin o’donnell
i had been talking much to my-self lately — that self that had broken loose and come undone. oh there were countless moments she was inconsolable and i was caught unprepared, not knowing how to comfort her in her moments of woe.
with this song, i came to realize how i was, after all, the weaker one, and she - my other self - was the graceful one … turning to God in her darkest hours …accepting her faults …facing her fears …conceding to her debility.
by admitting…openly… her obvious frailty and her compounded weaknesses, for recognizing…wholeheartedly…her badly broken entity, she has allowed herself to rest in the solace of an aching child humbled before the greatness of an all-consuming One.
today, i am learning how to come to terms with my other self …. accepting her as the stronger, wiser one … yielding to her search for meaning and purpose, abandoning myself to her pursuit of a silenced heart and a quieted soul, relinquishing my own selfish and mindless pursuits of temporary heights.
as such, this blog will soon evolve… taking on a new life, from a self-seeking story…into an unfolding chronicle.. of how a badly damaged fragile property, desperately aching for the divine, is taking strides towards a simple pursuit …a higher purpose.
some stories will have to go, for they speak of weakness more than greatness, and they speak of shallow truths and needless pursuits.
i cannot promise a story of grandness, however, for i have chosen to start my own story of simplicity, of allowing myself to interrupt life in its interruptions and not let life’s interrruptions interrupt my search for God’s simple, life-saving truth.
until today, i ask myself…why did it take this long for me to understand that it was never about me and my glory … but HIS, alone?
